The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Women Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Women
Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Women After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Women
Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual Women I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Women
"I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Women Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford "When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole Women
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman Women If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Women
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Women The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Women
The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Women I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Women
Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson Women A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Women
A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex Women "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) Women
"Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Women "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi Women
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Women I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous Women
