Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Localities Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West Localities
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Spinster: A bachelor's wife. "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) "It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) Localities He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! Localities
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks Localities "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Localities
Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Localities A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous Localities
We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Localities It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Localities
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Localities "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Localities
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Localities Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry Localities
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce Localities "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Localities
I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein Localities Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Localities
"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) Localities Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Localities
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Localities Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words Localities
