Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Regions "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds.
-- Buddha Regions
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Regions "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Regions
"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln Regions Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i Regions
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Regions Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller Regions
Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi Regions And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics Regions
If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Regions "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Regions
Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 Regions "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Regions
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Regions I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Regions
A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Regions Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Regions
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Regions If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb Regions
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Regions 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Regions
