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Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. -- George Bernard Shaw Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software. -- Unknown author, Levitating T The west wasn't won on salad. -- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other. -- W. Somerset Maugham You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. -- Dolly Parton Hotels and Motels May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take. -- Adlai Stevenson "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Hotels and Motels A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. -- Ogden Nash Never eat more than you can lift. -- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous. -- Bill Moyers When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research. -- Wilson Mizner If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Hotels and Motels Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. - Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Hotels and Motels Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first. -- Billy Sunday "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat. -- Henry Miller "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. -- Henry Ford Hotels and Motels It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion. -- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 We haven't the money, so we've got to think. -- Lord Rutherford "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Hotels and Motels "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. -- Albert Einstein We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade. -- Caroline Norton "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) Hotels and Motels I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me. -- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. -- Lenny Bruce Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. -- Anonymous Hotels and Motels Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig. -- Anon. Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -- Woody Allen The child is the father of the man. -- William Wordsworth "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have to shave twice a day. -- Adlai Stevenson Hotels and Motels If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. -- Albert Einstein I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. -- Virginia Woolf Hotels and Motels After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. -- Aldous Huxley "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. -- Bertrand Russell You can observe a lot by watching. -- Yogi Berra The older one grows, the more one likes indecency. -- Virginia Woolf Hotels and Motels If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Abraham Lincoln Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something different. -- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine Silence is argument carried out by other means. - ErnestoCheGuevara Hotels and Motels "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else. -- Rogers "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping. -- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Hotels and Motels I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind. -- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Hotels and Motels Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not as There is no sincerer love than the love of food. -- George Bernard Shaw If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. -- George Bernard Shaw Hotels and Motels "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. -- Judith Viorst He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. - Abraham Lincoln Hotels and Motels There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse! -- Calvin If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. -- Aristotle Onassis He would make a lovely corpse. - Charles Dickens Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down. - Jimmy Durante Is there life before death? -- Belfast Graffito Hotels and Motels In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand. -- Gerald Holton I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. -- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network. -- Guy Almes Hotels and Motels We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something. -- Seymour Papert "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity. -- Edward H. Land Hotels and Motels If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. - Mario Andretti Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life. --Loesje A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife. -- Edgar Watson Howe Hotels and Motels Work expands to fill the time available. -- PARKINSON'S LAW In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent... -- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported in a contemporary "American Scholar" Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward. -- Patricia Sampson "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Hotels and Motels I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. -- Gandhi In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired. -- Conway's Law It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off! -- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Hotels and Motels
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