Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) By Department Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) By Department
"Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery By Department We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage By Department
Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) By Department Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) By Department
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting By Department I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes By Department
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken By Department Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell By Department
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' By Department "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) By Department
God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Ehrlich By Department Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin By Department
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) By Department He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin By Department
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all
I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it."
-- Jerry Seinfeld Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous By Department Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law By Department
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) By Department "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg By Department
Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster By Department "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( By Department
