I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Wood There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) Wood
Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Wood Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Wood
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Wood Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes Wood
blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Wood "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) "Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill Wood
"College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Wood A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) Wood
In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey Wood Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) Wood
Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Wood Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Wood
May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Wood There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch Wood
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Wood "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford Wood
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) Wood "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Wood
At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Wood Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) Wood
