An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Localities "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Localities
Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern Localities I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Localities
We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Localities What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Localities
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. Localities "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Localities
Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Localities Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Localities
Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Localities Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana This is the fourth?
-- Thomas Jefferson, dying words Localities
Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Localities In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Localities
The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Localities I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Localities
Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson Localities A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Localities
Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Localities If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant Localities
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy Localities In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland Localities
