The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) Tarn The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Tarn
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words Tarn Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Tarn
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch Tarn Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Tarn
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, Tarn They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Tarn
May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) Tarn I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Tarn
Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) Tarn The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Tarn
"Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Tarn Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen Tarn
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Tarn Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Tarn
Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history Tarn Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Tarn
Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac Tarn A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) Tarn
"Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Tarn "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Tarn
