"I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Overseas If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
-- Anne Bradstreet "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Overseas
If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten Overseas "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman Overseas
Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Overseas This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Overseas
I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson "Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" Overseas "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Overseas
It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Overseas We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx Overseas
Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Overseas The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Overseas
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Overseas Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Overseas
Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw Overseas A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Overseas
She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Overseas "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Overseas
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Overseas "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Overseas
Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Overseas You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Overseas
