"Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Business and Economy Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison Business and Economy
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Business and Economy An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) Business and Economy
"I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry Business and Economy LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Business and Economy
Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Business and Economy Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.
-- Harper Lee Business and Economy
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Business and Economy "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Business and Economy
I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde Business and Economy Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Business and Economy
The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis Business and Economy If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Business and Economy
Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) Business and Economy Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana Business and Economy
Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Business and Economy The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Business and Economy
Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland Business and Economy "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Business and Economy
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. Business and Economy Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Business and Economy
