Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain By Region MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller By Region
blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw By Region A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde By Region
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
-- John Ciardi Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods By Region Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show By Region
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens "Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright By Region "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies By Region
Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner By Region Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never desert your own line of talent. Be what nature
intended you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you will be ten thousands times
worse tha "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, By Region
Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e By Region Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West By Region
"The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) By Region Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic By Region
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb By Region Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. By Region
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster By Region Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-- Abraham Lincoln The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at By Region
Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx By Region I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac By Region
Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) By Region This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford By Region
