The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher By Department I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins By Department
Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love,
but no friendship.
-- Oscar Wilde By Department Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln By Department
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) By Department "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. By Department
Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte By Department The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) By Department
Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) By Department "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery By Department
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken By Department The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein By Department
then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke By Department Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III By Department
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
-- Edgar Allan Poe Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia By Department Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson By Department
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O By Department "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.
-- Thomas Jefferson By Department
"I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France By Department "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land By Department
It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun By Department The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous By Department
