"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) By Region "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau By Region
To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Region "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. By Region
"To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson By Region Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) By Region
"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop By Region It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates By Region
Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken By Region I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen By Region
"I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld By Region A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers By Region
Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle A White House well filled, a little peanut field well tilled, and a wife who will go to the Bronx are
great riches.
-- Poor Jimmy's Almanac Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign "You make 'em, I amuse 'em." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, on children) What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller By Region The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst By Region
"An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard "Like as the waves make towards the pebbl'd shore, so do our minutes, hasten to their end." (William Shakespeare) The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder By Region The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves By Region
Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
-- Paul Valery I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Region The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde By Region
Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) By Region There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) By Region
blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Man and wife make one fool. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry By Region If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde By Region
