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"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Parks It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) Spinster: A bachelor's wife. Parks
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson Parks Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Parks
I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous Parks Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) Parks
Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Parks "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Parks
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Parks No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Parks
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott Parks I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Parks
My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Parks Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman Parks
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Parks Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Parks
There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Parks Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Parks
"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire Parks My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Parks
"I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Parks Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) "The bite of conscience, like the bite of a dog into a stone, is a stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Parks
