He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 Translation "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein Translation
"Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Translation A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Translation
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) Translation I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley Translation
Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Translation Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Translation
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett Translation If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Translation
"When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Translation I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Translation
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton To realize that you do not understand is a virtue;
Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.
--Lao-Tzu, "Tao Teh Ching" I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James Translation I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Translation
I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Translation "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Translation
"The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Translation He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer Translation
Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite
without any wish to act.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper Translation A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw "The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) Translation
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) Translation I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) Translation
