Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) A They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde A
People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday A All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) A
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz A Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law A
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde A Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler A
It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house
as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
-- Homer, Odyssey, ninth century "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what A Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th A
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call
me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers A Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) A
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken A Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history A
Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides A "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White A
Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be A "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson A
I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi A "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway A
The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers A "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) A
