"Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
-- Bertrand Russell "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) B When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) B
"Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 B The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge B
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous B I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) B
"A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. B Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke B
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway B "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe B
"In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life B Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius B
cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) B I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous B
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
-- Harry S. Truman Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy B "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel B
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with
the powerful, not to be neutral.
-- Paulo Freire The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein B There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb B
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot stove for a
minute, it's longer than any hour. That is relativity.
-- Albert Einstein The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen B If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician B
Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil B We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work B
