A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Dogs The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. Dogs
Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein Dogs "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) Dogs
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
-- Beverly Sills It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Dogs Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Dogs
When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Dogs Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury Dogs
"The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) Dogs "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin Dogs
The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
-- George Bernard Shaw, St. Joan If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.
-- Harper Lee Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Dogs Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) Dogs
I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) Dogs Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Dogs
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Dogs Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh Dogs
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 Dogs I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm Dogs
A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words Dogs It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune Dogs
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn Dogs And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Dogs
