An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. Wittenberge "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Wittenberge
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Wittenberge When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale Wittenberge
A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.
-- Anonymous Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Wittenberge "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Wittenberge
Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod Wittenberge "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) Wittenberge
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Wittenberge Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and Wittenberge
"The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau Wittenberge You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) Wittenberge
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx Wittenberge He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Wittenberge
Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal Wittenberge There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Wittenberge
Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Wittenberge This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Wittenberge
I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Wittenberge "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Wittenberge
Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Wittenberge Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Wittenberge
