If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou Garbsen Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Garbsen
"Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur Garbsen Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale Garbsen
"Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Garbsen Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Garbsen
When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Garbsen Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Garbsen
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley "The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Garbsen Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Garbsen
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford Garbsen As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Garbsen
"Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Garbsen If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 Garbsen
The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson Garbsen "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop Garbsen
I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer Garbsen I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Garbsen
Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't
certain we knew better.
-- George Bird Evans Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Garbsen Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous Garbsen
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw Garbsen The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler Garbsen
