Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) Localities Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Localities
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh Localities Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West Localities
Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Localities What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) Localities
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard "... What good are dreams if they come true?" (Frederick Exley, A Fan's Notes) Localities "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) "I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) Localities
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Localities A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Localities
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Localities My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Localities
Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Localities I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Localities
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde Localities "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Localities
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain Localities Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw Localities
Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Localities "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Localities
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama Localities "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Localities
