"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Ahlen Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Ahlen
To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert Ahlen Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Ahlen
The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Ahlen "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry Ahlen
"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton Ahlen Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Ahlen
What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton Ahlen The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling Ahlen
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison Ahlen Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben Ahlen
I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw Ahlen "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived Ahlen
Man and wife make one fool. No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi Ahlen I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis Ahlen
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) Ahlen Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Ahlen
Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person that loves you
enough chance to love you enough.
-- Dinah Shore I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb Ahlen What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions; life is
plurality, death is uniformity.
-- Octavio Paz I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward Ahlen
I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Ahlen "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards Ahlen
