If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Dorsten "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain Dorsten
Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Dorsten Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Dorsten
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Dorsten "When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Dorsten
I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the Dorsten If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. Dorsten
"The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." (Herbert Spencer) No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Dorsten If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon Dorsten
Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Dorsten Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Dorsten
"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Dorsten "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) Dorsten
"Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Dorsten "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Dorsten
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Dorsten Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars Dorsten
A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) Dorsten Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it Dorsten
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Dorsten A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Dorsten
