Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde Localities If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Localities
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous "The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman "One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Localities In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) Localities
Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Localities 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari Localities
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the Localities Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Localities
All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "Be the change that you want to see in the world." (Mohandas Gandhi) Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Localities "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda Localities
"Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Localities Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) Localities
Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Marriage is a rest period between romances. In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw Localities "I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Localities
"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoyevski Localities The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Localities
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware;
those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.
-- Unknown author, Levitating T In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker Localities Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Localities
Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Localities There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx Localities
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." (Helen Keller) "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Localities Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux Localities
