Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Localities "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as
possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had Localities
"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Localities When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) Localities
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides Localities Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Localities
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Localities I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) "Death is always and under all circumstances a tragedy, for if it is not, then it means that life itself has become one." (Theodore Roosevelt) Localities
"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry Localities We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 Localities
When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
- Ian L. Fleming "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Localities The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Localities
It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Localities Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Localities
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Localities If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux Localities
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Localities "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Localities
The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference
between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I
don't know and "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Localities I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Localities
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Localities I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West Localities
