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Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Classifieds It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov Classifieds
The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Classifieds It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers Classifieds
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Classifieds Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Classifieds
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Classifieds There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Classifieds
"Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Classifieds Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Classifieds
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Classifieds I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary Classifieds
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Classifieds It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Classifieds
One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
-- Virginia Woolf Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
-- Albert Einstein I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Classifieds "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Classifieds
Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Classifieds "People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." (Anne I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) Classifieds
"I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Classifieds People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
-- Louise Hay Classifieds
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F. Kennedy If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) Classifieds When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Classifieds
