GTO on CD-ROM - Details on purchasing this CD travel guide and trip planner with information on travel agencies, organized tours, and lodging.
"Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) Specialties When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Specialties
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Specialties Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton My other wife is beautiful. Specialties
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Specialties Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Specialties
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) Specialties They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) Specialties
Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Specialties When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason Specialties
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
-- Anne Bradstreet I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli Specialties A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Specialties
"The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) Specialties "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. Specialties
Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) Specialties Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Specialties
Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all Specialties A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams Specialties
The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Specialties "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Specialties
Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 Specialties "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Specialties
