"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black What's new? Most of my wife. Resources for Educators Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Resources for Educators
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 Resources for Educators Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) Resources for Educators
A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Resources for Educators "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber Resources for Educators
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Resources for Educators Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Resources for Educators
Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Resources for Educators Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Resources for Educators
Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken "No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein Resources for Educators People say "I want peace." If you remove I {ego}, and your want {desire}, you are left with peace.
-- Satya Sai Baba There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Resources for Educators
When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Resources for Educators If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. When making public policy decisions about new technologies for the Government, I think one
should ask oneself which technologies would best strengthen the hand of a police state. Then, do
not allow "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Resources for Educators
It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, "Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Resources for Educators then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii Resources for Educators
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell Resources for Educators "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin Resources for Educators
Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Resources for Educators Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White Resources for Educators
I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Resources for Educators blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Resources for Educators
