Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner Hospitals "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) Hospitals
"What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Hospitals Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Hospitals
Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi Hospitals One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if
possible, speak a few reasonable words.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Hospitals
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman "Babies are necessary to grown-ups. A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. In a world that is cutting down its trees to build highways, losing its eart "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Hospitals When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Hospitals
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Hospitals Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous Hospitals
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Hospitals If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Hospitals
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov "The English have all the material requisites for the revolution. What they lack is the spirit of generalization and revolutionary ardour." (Karl Marx) Hospitals I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Hospitals
It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
-- Robert J. Oppenheimer, citing from the Bhagavadgita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear
explosion I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Hospitals The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White Hospitals
"The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Hospitals Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Hospitals
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein Hospitals "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Hospitals
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Hospitals "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. Hospitals
