He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton Museums The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Museums
The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Museums Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Museums
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Museums Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Museums
The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) Museums Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford Museums
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Museums Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Museums
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) Museums ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Museums
There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Museums "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Museums
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Museums Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Museums
Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous Museums Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein Museums
Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Museums Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. Museums
I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I
believed in liberals...
-- G. K. Chesterton Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein Museums I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Museums
