Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Baseball Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Baseball
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller Baseball Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Baseball
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous Baseball Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Baseball
Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Baseball >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow Baseball
Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Baseball The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Baseball
There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Baseball "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Baseball
Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Baseball "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Baseball
Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain
and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin Baseball "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Baseball
The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell Baseball You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Baseball
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Baseball There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Baseball
You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Baseball "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple Baseball
