Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Education Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Education
"Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) Education Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton Education
What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo Education The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Education
Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop Education "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Education
A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Education "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Education
"Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Education There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Education
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) Education A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Education
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Education The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Education
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
-- Voltaire I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) Education Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Education
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Education A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Education
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Education If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Education
