English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde Maps and Views We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw Maps and Views
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey Maps and Views I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Maps and Views
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland Maps and Views He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Maps and Views
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) Maps and Views The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Maps and Views
"I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Maps and Views A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain Maps and Views
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Maps and Views People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
-- Mark Twain Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Maps and Views
Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Maps and Views Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Maps and Views
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer "In order to keep anything cultural, logical, or ideological, you have to reinvent the reality of it." (Ani Difranco) What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Maps and Views I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter Maps and Views
Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one
thing.
-- Abraham Lincoln They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain Maps and Views "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Maps and Views
"I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar Maps and Views If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton Maps and Views
They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 Honor's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times.
-- Jonson, Ben The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Maps and Views "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous Maps and Views
