I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Maps and Views In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Maps and Views
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John Maps and Views We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Maps and Views
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Maps and Views When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Maps and Views
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain Maps and Views He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Maps and Views
"The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Maps and Views All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Maps and Views
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Maps and Views blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton We haven't the money, so we've got to think.
-- Lord Rutherford Maps and Views
"Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne Maps and Views Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Maps and Views
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Maps and Views I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup Maps and Views
Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Maps and Views A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.
-- Albert Schweitzer We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa Maps and Views
"I have an unfortunate personality." (George Orson Welles) "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) "In fact, most deaths are not tragic. Few people die because of a flaw in character, which is the essential element of tragedy. They just die." (John Chancellor, The News Business) Maps and Views Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Maps and Views
Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Maps and Views Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Maps and Views
