Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Ilia "When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain Ilia
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Ilia Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf Ilia
The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Ilia Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Ilia
"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Ilia After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Ilia
Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Ilia Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Ilia
If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Ilia Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Ilia
The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis Ilia You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams 'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings Ilia
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) Ilia In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Ilia
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Ilia If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Ilia
Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Ilia Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland Ilia
No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cæsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein Ilia He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley History is more or less bunk.
-- Henry Ford Ilia
