My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr Recreation and Sports
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Recreation and Sports blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom Recreation and Sports
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Recreation and Sports More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde Recreation and Sports
"Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Recreation and Sports A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky Recreation and Sports
"A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Recreation and Sports
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.
-- Libbie Fudim When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Recreation and Sports Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Recreation and Sports
"I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Recreation and Sports An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Recreation and Sports
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Recreation and Sports Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Recreation and Sports
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx Recreation and Sports All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Recreation and Sports
The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Recreation and Sports If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde Recreation and Sports
I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Recreation and Sports "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Recreation and Sports
