If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Laconia He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Laconia
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch Laconia Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Laconia
"What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Laconia Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died Laconia
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins Laconia It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do Laconia
blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde Laconia Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland Laconia
"Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Laconia Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Laconia
Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow Laconia I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Laconia
I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
-- George Bernard Shaw Laconia He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde Laconia
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein Laconia How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman Laconia
"The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai Laconia "I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Laconia
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii Laconia Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Laconia
