Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Recreation and Sports Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words Recreation and Sports
Many a man has finally succeeded only because he has failed after repeated efforts. If he had
never met defeat he would never have known any great victory.
-- Orison Swett Marden Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Recreation and Sports Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." (George Bernard Shaw) We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Recreation and Sports
blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Recreation and Sports A beauty is a woman you notice; A charmer is one who notices you.
-- Adlai Stevenson We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H Recreation and Sports
blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Recreation and Sports I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The Recreation and Sports
CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Recreation and Sports If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Recreation and Sports
Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Recreation and Sports "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Recreation and Sports
"Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Recreation and Sports Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X Recreation and Sports
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Recreation and Sports "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Recreation and Sports
For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Recreation and Sports There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht Recreation and Sports
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Recreation and Sports Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Recreation and Sports
I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in
a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone Recreation and Sports "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Recreation and Sports
