Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-- Albert Einstein "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton "Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great." (Fernando Flores) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr News and Media "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e News and Media
When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) News and Media The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper News and Media
"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it more fit for its
prime function of looking forward.
-- Margaret Fairless Barber Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe News and Media "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl News and Media
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz News and Media Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane News and Media
The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) News and Media I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou News and Media
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
-- Mae West To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence News and Media Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! News and Media
Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap News and Media The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) News and Media
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart News and Media The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) News and Media
If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love,
but no friendship.
-- Oscar Wilde News and Media "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill News and Media
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James News and Media Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz News and Media
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein News and Media This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) News and Media
