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In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
-- Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare. Act II, Scene II, lines 220-221 In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Guides and Directories "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) Guides and Directories
Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens.
-- E. B. White "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B Guides and Directories Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Guides and Directories
Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that Guides and Directories We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) Guides and Directories
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) Guides and Directories Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Guides and Directories
My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Guides and Directories Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau Guides and Directories
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Guides and Directories It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Guides and Directories
Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-- Noel Coward Guides and Directories "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Guides and Directories
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw Guides and Directories "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Guides and Directories
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo Guides and Directories Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O Guides and Directories
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher Guides and Directories You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Guides and Directories
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Guides and Directories Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi Guides and Directories
