The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley Guides and Directories Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright Guides and Directories Since Eve ate the apple, much depends on dinner.
-- Lord Byron "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Guides and Directories
"The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show We must become the change we want to see.
-- Gandhi Guides and Directories In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories
The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain Guides and Directories "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Guides and Directories
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. Guides and Directories To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Every man knows his follies and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
-- Josh Billings Guides and Directories
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin "In my opinion, the greatest single failure of American education is that students come away unable to distinguish between a symbol and the thing the symbol stands for." (Paul Lutus) Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." (Emma Lazarus) Guides and Directories "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Guides and Directories
Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud "Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Guides and Directories The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe Guides and Directories
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Guides and Directories "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Guides and Directories
May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Guides and Directories Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Guides and Directories
The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Guides and Directories Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson Guides and Directories
Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. What's new? Most of my wife. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Guides and Directories It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck Guides and Directories
