Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Industries "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Industries
"If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Industries It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
-- Karl Marx, dying words to his housekeeper "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) Industries
"I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu Industries If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Industries
"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Industries Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Industries
Friends applaud, the Comedy is over.
-- Ludwig von Beethoven, dying words What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Industries Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Industries
"By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA Industries First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. Industries
"Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Industries If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) Industries
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly.
-- Bhagava Gita Industries Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Industries
He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Industries "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin To be able to say how much love, is love but little.
-- Petrarch Industries
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Industries "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Industries
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) Industries "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Industries
