Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair The best reason I can think of for not running for President of the United States is that you have
to shave twice a day.
-- Adlai Stevenson Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston Recreation and Sports An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf your daughters marry men of substance: gypsies with two bears. "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Recreation and Sports
Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Recreation and Sports Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Recreation and Sports
In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. Recreation and Sports "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Recreation and Sports
The only reward of virtue is virtue.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus Recreation and Sports "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Recreation and Sports
"Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos My other wife is beautiful. "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) Recreation and Sports To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II Recreation and Sports
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "There are no uninteresting things, only uninteresting people." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) Recreation and Sports
May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes.
-- Elizabeth Ashley Recreation and Sports I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Recreation and Sports
"To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 Recreation and Sports A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince Recreation and Sports
Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Recreation and Sports We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale Recreation and Sports
Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as
saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-- Deborah Tan In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Recreation and Sports "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Recreation and Sports
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau "When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory." (Friedrich Wilhelm Ni Recreation and Sports "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Recreation and Sports
