This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James Football "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Football
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen Football When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Feeding the hungry is a greater work than raising the dead.
-- Saint John Chrysostom "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) Football
"The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe >From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud Football One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
-- George Santayana Football
"Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Football "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers Football
He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) Football "Let no one be discouraged by the belief there is nothing one person can do against the enormous array of the world's ills, misery, ignorance, and violence. Few will have the greatness to bend history I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Football
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Football Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Football
A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu Football To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Football
If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cĉsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni Football "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu blah "Ideas are like stars, you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and, following them, you reach yo Football
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley Football Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
"The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Football
"Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) Football Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." (George Bernard Shaw) Football
"Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Football If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Football
