Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau Shopping Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) Shopping
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller Shopping An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Shopping
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther Shopping I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Shopping
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Shopping "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Shopping
Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Shopping The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Shopping
And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge Shopping You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) Shopping
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Shopping A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer Shopping
"I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Shopping An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Shopping
The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly.
-- Bhagava Gita The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Shopping "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal "You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 Shopping
He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Shopping A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Shopping
"God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Shopping "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Shopping
