"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Specialized Instruction To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.
-- Aristotle Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Specialized Instruction
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein Specialized Instruction May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Specialized Instruction
"Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin Specialized Instruction Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Specialized Instruction
Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Specialized Instruction Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Specialized Instruction
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
-- George Bernard Shaw Specialized Instruction Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Specialized Instruction
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Specialized Instruction "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Specialized Instruction
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Specialized Instruction Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Specialized Instruction
"I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin "Teacher played hooky. Sent message: 'Receiving instruction. Enjoying myself thoroughly. See you next week.'" (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Specialized Instruction Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Specialized Instruction
"The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton Specialized Instruction The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown Honorable, adj. Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary
to mention all members as honorable; as, ``the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.'
-- Bierce, A "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain Specialized Instruction
The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) Specialized Instruction Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei Specialized Instruction
"Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung Specialized Instruction "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House Specialized Instruction
