"Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Boating Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Boating
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner Boating Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Boating
I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Boating "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Boating
I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
- Charles de Gaulle "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet Boating "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Boating
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes Boating Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman Boating
The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin Boating "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb Boating
Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Boating I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Boating
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) Boating Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling Boating
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." (Walt Whitman) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Boating Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Boating
We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Boating The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Boating
"I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Boating Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke Boating
