Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Maps and Views Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) Maps and Views
If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Maps and Views I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait Maps and Views
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Maps and Views In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain Maps and Views
Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb Maps and Views "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that Maps and Views
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce Maps and Views "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Maps and Views
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Maps and Views We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Maps and Views
"To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Maps and Views If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Maps and Views
I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop Maps and Views Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton Maps and Views
"Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Maps and Views When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. Maps and Views
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Maps and Views Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer Maps and Views
I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Maps and Views "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. Maps and Views
