I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Dance "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Dance
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) "I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." (Blaise Pascal) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire The more we do, the more we can do; the more busy we are the more leisure we have.
-- William Hazlitt Dance "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Dance
A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
-- Richard Bach And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Dance Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of
responsibility at the other.
-- Ronald Reagan, Saturday Evening Post, 1965 The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Dance
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton Marriage is a rest period between romances. Dance If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester When a man takes an oath, Meg, he's holding his ownself in his own hands. Like water. And if he
opens his fingers then- he needn't hope to find himself again.
-- Robert Bolt from A Man For All Seas Dance
The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Dance A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates Dance
And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations Dance This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed Dance
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Dance Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Dance
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able
to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that w I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Dance I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton Dance
"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY Dance Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All You cannot think about thinking, without thinking about thinking about something.
-- Seymour Papert Dance
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her. Dance My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) Dance
I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Dance I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen Dance
