Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) Outdoors You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley Outdoors
Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel Outdoors With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer "Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Outdoors
Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST Outdoors Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Outdoors
When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold
of a hammer.
-- Will Rogers blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Outdoors Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman Outdoors
The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw Outdoors Never practice two vices at once.
-- Tallulah Bankhead "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison Outdoors
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Outdoors Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Outdoors
"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Outdoors Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Outdoors
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Outdoors "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams Outdoors
Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous Outdoors The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Outdoors
"Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic Outdoors "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken Outdoors
The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Outdoors "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) The less a man thinks or knows about his virtues, the better we like him.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Outdoors
